Repercussions
by Rhi Marzano
Summary: Continuation of Adjuvant Attraction - but much more slashy! J/T


repercussions  
Rhi Marzano  
R  
[A/N: Ahmmmm, as far as slash goes, this is much more explicit than its predecessor, Adjuvant Attraction... in case you didn't realize, this fic involves BOYS and BOYS. Romantically. Together. If it's not your cup of tea, go away. It kind of ignores the shitty ending of 54- there is no dumbass Ax arc. Sound good?]

* * *

After the war ended, my life fell apart. I'd sent my cousin to her death, with her willingly complying to the end. She loved the war, I knew that- and exploited it. Cold, heartless bastard that I'd become, I practically killed her. 

I couldn't live with myself- not at first. I drew back into the shadows, not loving the fame like Marco. Did I mean to shut Cassie out? I don't know, I can't really remember. But the old Jake was dead, I guess, and I think my love for Cassie died with him. 

Maybe I could have recovered into what I'd been before if Rachel hadn't died… if the responsibility for her death hadn't fallen squarely on my shoulders. Did God have it in his plan somewhere for me to have the fate of humanity entrusted in me? Why couldn't it have been someone else? Why did she have to be the one to die? I would have done it in a second, if I had known she would have been alive, happy, with Tobias. I couldn't think this during the war, not when I was the one in charge. But now, especially now, it plagued my thoughts every day. 

As hard as it had hit me, it was nothing like what Tobias felt. He'd loved her- she'd been what kept him human, and vice versa. Seeing the spiral he'd fallen into… of course I felt guilty. When I saw him at her memorial that day… crying… I wanted to do something. The meal had been cleansing. We had talked… and after a while, he almost looked happy again. The kinship we had during the war was still there, and a comfort to us both. Returning to the memorial, he cried again… but this time we broke down together, shared our pain. And something… sparked. A kiss, at first, but then…

It had been desperate, clumsy. Born of grief and pain. And yet, it had probably been the most beautiful thing I'd ever experienced. I slept, sated, with my anguish ebbing slowly away. 

I woke up with him in my arms, my chest damp. I first thought that I had been sweating, and was embarrassed, but then realized the cause. 

Tobias was crying. 

And I felt like an asshole. 

I'd tried to _stop_ his crying, dammit, and here I'd caused a new flood. I had taken advantage of him- it was my fault. Not like I'd avidly coveted sleeping with him, it had just _happened_. Once it had started, I hadn't been strong enough to stop. We'd been alone and miserable, and the brief union brought some hope into the world. 

But now, Tobias was crying. 

Shame curled in my throat. I'd taken something from him, exploiting our mutual love for Rachel. His tears burned me, singeing my flesh. 

I was about to open my mouth to apologize when he said, "I finally did it."

I blinked. _It_ as in having sex with a male? As in having sex in general? 

"It's been more than two hours."

My stomach clenched, and I rolled away. "Oh, god, Tobias-"

"That's what she always wanted," he continued, staring at the sky. "For me to be human again. And now it's done. I hope she's happy."

His wings had been all he'd had without her. And now, I'd made him lose those as well.

"I should have kept track of time." The response was curt as I sat and started gathering my clothes. "I'm sorry."

His eyes- god, those eyes- clouded.

The silence was going to kill me. I pulled up my pants at a furious pace, threw on my shirt, ran my fingers through my hair.

"You're just going to leave, then?"

I froze.

He stood, glaring at me. If looks could kill, I'd have been dead several times over. "I lose Rachel, give up my flying, and now you're just going to leave me?"

"You _want_ me to stay?"

He jabbed his finger in my shoulder. "Of course I want you to stay, you ass! You're all I have left!"

As declarations go, it wasn't the most romantic. No one wants to be told that they're leftovers. But coming from Tobias, this was serious stuff indeed.

My brain temporarily stopped working. "Um," was the brilliant phrase that came from my mouth.

His brows narrowed.

"Come with me then," I said, function briefly returning to my cerebellum. "You obviously can't hang out in the forest anymore."

"Won't your parents think it's weird?"

"I hate to tell you that I don't live with my parents anymore, Tobias."

"Oh," he said. He visibly relaxed and began dressing. "Alright then."

We didn't really think about it beyond that. He moved in, and we were together. I don't know if the others suspected... or knew, for that matter. I think my father actually believed that we were just friends, but my mother was pretty keen on what was going on. Not that she said anything, but she did stop pestering me about grandchildren.

Which was awfully nice of her.

I could be "me" with Tobias, whoever the hell I was. There was no pretending, no guarding. It was open and comfortable. We woke up together, ate together, shopped together, went to bed together. And we always, always had her binding us.

The next year on the anniversary of her death, we went to her memorial, placed some flowers there. And it was then that I told him that I loved him for the first time.

When he replied in reciprocation, I realized that the new Jake was no longer obsessed with the past.

I had a future.

With Tobias.

* * *

[:) who knows if I'll write more J/T. But I like it. Don't you? Pwease review.] 


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